Friday, November 14, 2014

Waiting on Charlotte

Sometimes I walk into my baby's room and just straighten the blankets and dust off the dresser. The scent of diapers and baby laundry detergent are new and pleasant smells. It seems that most everything is ready and simply waiting on a newborn baby girl to settle in among it all.

I get a little breathless when I think about how I'm almost 39 weeks along and any day from having her. I imagine any of you mothers out there are chuckling to yourselves right now, remembering how you felt the same way. Josh has told me several times, "You're not the first woman to go through this and you won't be the last. Don't worry." That doesn't make it a lot easier when it's the first time for me. Yet, I'm already learning that not everything happens as planned and very few things go perfectly. This pregnancy has taught me that. Regardless, there is one truth: God is in control.

The past few trips home to my parent's house have been special. It's strange knowing that the next time I'm home, we will have Charlotte with us. The pictures in the hallways of me on daddy's lap, Kandace and I performing, playing outside with Clara and Andrew ... all those years of just looking after me ... are suddenly going to be gone. Even more so than when I got married two years ago. At any time, a tiny baby girl is going to enter my world and be totally 100% helpless. She is going to need Josh and me more than she can imagine. It's made me so thankful for my parents. All these years that's just been who they are... Mom and Dad. I need something, they provide it. No worries. All those years when I didn't even know I needed them, they were there. Now it's my turn. Our turn. I pray that I will not compare myself to so-and-so or worry too much about the silly things, but that I will pour my heart out into loving Charlotte. In the end, all we want is for her to be able to look past Josh and I one day and see God and the love of Jesus. And that she won't just see God, but that she will run to Him and become His child. We will be her temporary parents, but He will be her perfect, never-failing Father if she will let Him. There is no greater desire in my heart than that.

We love you Charlotte Rose Isaacs and we can't wait to hold you!