He's Faithful

I walk up the white stairs that lead to a hall that leads to another. My legs feel weak. My mind is swirling so fast. But I remind myself that I've studied as much as I can, I'll do fine. Deep breath. I step into a small room where I put my purse down. I mutter something nice to the lady sitting behind the desk. She hands me a paper to read stating the "rules." My eyes can hardly focus and I read "no gum." Too embarrassed to spit it out I swallow it. I hand her something she asked for. She types in something on her computer as I glance around the room. I've been here before. The test room. It is quiet except for the soft clicking of computer keys, that most irritating sound. A man asks me if I'm ready and I say "yes" despite the gnawing in my stomach. He never said "follow me" so don't until I realize that I should have. So I run behind him to catch up looking like the dork of the century. After making some comment about me being nervous he points me to the last computer and chair in the room. Thankful for the fact that I won't have to bear the key clicking since I'm all alone, I sit down. I fill out some information about myself on the computer. I keep misspelling my mom's name as my fingers are shaking. I'm really embarrassed since her name is Pam... tough name to spell. I am finally done with all of that garb and I see the button "Begin Test." I suddenly feel a surge of peace and I whisper a quick prayer and click it. The test begins. The first question I don't know the answer, neither do I know the second through fourth. The 90 min. test is ticking by already. I feel a little wave of panic, but its okay, I still have 116 questions! But the questions just keep coming and I don't understand so many. I'm at question 30 and I look up at the time. 55 min left. What?!? I'm spending too much time per question. Oh sweet Lord help me. Question 31, I don't understand this one either. Panic is suddenly taking over me I can't seem to breathe. I just want to quit. I have passed every exam, why is this SO hard? I was never told to study so much about this stuff. I am so mad. I'm failing, I know it. Heat, I'm so hot. What is that horrible smell? Hot pockets? And that beeping... a microwave? Is someone chopping up an onion back there? My eyes are watering. I can't think! Lord, I just want to stop. I still have... I'm calculating... 89 questions! No Lord.

Katy, stop.


Stop. Know that I'm here. I always have been.

Peace, so much peace. I can do this and if I fail, it isn't because I didn't study. God is here. I start back. Time dwindles and the questions do as well. I still think I'm failing, but I'm not so angry. I have peace. There is nothing else I can do but do unto the Lord. The last question. Done. I read "To view your score push 'proceed.'" If I haven't passed, it's okay. I push it. I'm holding my breath. I passed! I really did! Maybe the score wasn't what I'd hoped or what I'm used to, but I passed! I stand up and walk out of the room. I am asked to sign my name which I do shaking. I leave on wobbly legs knowing that I have experienced the Lord's peace even in a college exam. I am satisfied.

That was the story of an exam I took last Wednesday. It may seem childish and silly to you that I went so crazy about it, but to me it was a big deal. I was afraid and worried that months of studying would go down the drain. I was in such need of reassurance. At that moment my Heavenly Father was the only one who could help me. He did. He is so faithful.

I tell you this story to remind you to lean on the arms of your Father in Heaven, because they are never unsteady. He is always there. And in the mist of whatever it may be that you are in you can, as I did, experience Almighty God. He is SO VERY GOOD.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Phillipians 4:6-7


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