A Heart Not Torn

I blogged on this very subject back in February. Relationships. Romantic ones. It's a touchy subject. I usually get a little flack when I broach upon it, but oh well, I do anyway!
I've felt led to go to this subject again because it weighs so heavily on my heart. It is such a difficult topic though because so many don't like to think about this angle of relationships.

It's like I've said before, young tweens and teens dating each other just for fun is really dangerous. Like gas and fire. I have known and know countless teenagers who have promised themselves and others that they were just not going to get their hearts get tangled, but soon enough it is bound to happen... and it does. It continues to amaze me the amount of teens that wrap themselves in such problems. It doesn't have to be something that you just do. Something so serious should be pleasing to God and at the right time. God's time.

It's something that we should at least think about. We can't tell ourselves that it doesn't matter. 97% of highschool seniors are no longer pure. That is crazy. Let me just put it out there... it is not bad to wait. It isn't bad to trust God for the right one.

Another thought. If you are a Christian, shouldn't your very first desire be for that person you get into a relationship with be a Christian as well? Many teens have said to me something like this, "Well, I really think he's saved. He has the Bible as his "favorite" book on Facebook and his parents go to church. His Dad may even be a deacon." That's all great, but if you don't know almost immediately, then there is a problem. We should never have to guess or think he or she may be a Christian because of their parents or upbringing.

Okay, Katy. So what do you think is appropriate?? Well, it isn't about what I think, it is about the Word and it says...

1 Thessalonians 4:3 It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4 that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, 5 not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God.

Ephesians 5:3 But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.

Not even a hint. So for me that means none. Pretty simple actually. I just don't date, it makes it easier. Some may wonder, "How in the blue blazes are you ever going to find someone?" Well, I'm not going to find someone. I don't have to. God has him chosen for me. God will bring him to me or me to him. I could know him now or I may not. I don't have to "put myself out there" to find out. A lady in my church named Kathy Eller once gave an example when I was very young. She may not even remember this, but it stuck with me. We were at a girl's sleep over and she talked about dating and relationships. She had a paper heart and said that it is new and fresh and as we date and break-up it gets torn. She ripped small pieces of it off and threw them on the floor. She said that when you kiss your boyfriend, their goes some of your heart and when you tell each other things not meant for each other's ears, there goes more of your heart. She told us that one day you get married and she showed us the scrap of heart left. "And this is all you have left." I'll never forget that. This is all you have left.

Many already know this stuff. They know that God has their future spouse chosen and much of what I've said is old hat. But the culture can easily seep in and suddenly we're recreational dating. And it's "not serious." Not serious dating is the worst kind, because when you're not serious and just having "fun" you have no purpose in what you're doing.

I don't have it all together. I don't know everything. But I have chosen to wait. And when the time is right I'll know. I want there to be a purpose behind any relationship like that in my life. You know? That doesn't mean that I sit in a glass box, it actually gives me freedom to talk and be friends. And it's not miserable, it is purposeful. I want a heart that's not torn. A full and clean heart. Where is the safest place for it? In the hands of God. So that is where it stays.

If yours is already torn, save what you have left. It's never too late to save your heart. Jesus never runs out of second chances.


  1. Amen!! I love this Katy! It's exactly what young people need to read!!! I'm glad there's someone out there that is waiting with dating too!! =D I had this one lady go and talk to my dad for like, 30 minutes one time as to why I should be allowed to date! (she also wanted me to date her son...=/) I'm glad we're so similar! =D I hope I can see you before Carnegie!!!!!

  2. Thank you Jessica!! It is so good to have friends like you that feel the same way! I hope we can see each other soon! I hate that we couldn't come tonight to the AMB concert. :( I'm so excited about Carnegie!!!


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